Waffle cake creator and lover of all things purple

My photo
West Sussex, United Kingdom

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Bloggidy boo!

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm still lying in bed wondering what to do for the day. Sadly, my pondering has left me with very little of today left to um... do.

I have been listening to 6 music today as the Irish grumpmister michael legge had somehow pleaded his way into the still luke warm seat of Richard herring, who is finishing his hitler moustashe tour.

For those of you that haven't listened to the precious little podcast, michael is rather colourful in his handling of the english language. Yes *English* language, suck it up Irish/scotish/Canadian imitators, we got the language first. This led to most precious little podos being hooked on the 3 hour show, awaiting the inevitable moment where a naughty word slipped out. To our mild disappointment, Michael and andrew both did splendidly. I was quite surprised at the level of broadcasting chemistry between the pair of them. I was left pondering how they would explain their broadcasting infidelity to their respective broadcasting partners.
James holding a defensive stance, his back to michael looking over his shoulder, holding back the tears "why didn't you come to the precious little recording michael?" Michael fumbling with his fingers, before mumbling "i had something on in London." in a voice only loud enough for James (and maybe leprecauns) to hear. "something on michael? You mean like being *on* the radio with another host?!" James would say while storming over to the laptop and blaring out the iplayer version.


This week has been interesting. It started with my friends wedding on saturday, which left me fearing for my health after we all decided to eat part of the plastic table decorations.

Tuesday I went to see the recording of Russell howard's good news which was fab. They has the French spiderman as the special guest. He was brilliant. I watched the broadcasted version on thursday, and they actually cut out the best parts of the interview which included a story of him getting a boner while seeing a nudey woman in a building he was scaling, and how he continually gets arrested.

Most excitingly of all, I was introduced to the wonders of an oyster card! How the fricking hell have I not had one of these before? I felt like some kind of VIP flashing my access card when I could hop through the barriers while others needed to fiddle about with peasent paper passes. Muhahaha I'm now queen of the underground.

Friday I had an internal interview which consisted of a role play presentation where I had to present our internally configured management system as a customer relationship management tool. This was quite a feat as the only reason we don't sell it is because it isn't currently marketable. The other tricky thing about this situation is the fact that we are predominately a recruitment software house which meant I had to do a lot of research. Now the idea of "selling" something is new to me. I'm really a techical person rather than sales, but luckily this worked in my favour when I had to answer development questions which were thrown my way. I still haven't fully decided which route I want to take my career in. Do I want to move into management or into technical? The role I am being interviewed for is SME Account Manager (which I already do as I manage 40 accounts on top of my other workload). Taking this job would mean I would have management in my title, but would mean I would be leaving the techical configuration side behind. Tricky

I should hear back next week if they want to have an informal face to face interview with me.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iWaffle

Monday, 12 April 2010

Mafia Banks

I was shocked to discover that Natwest is a Mafia bank that is getting in the way of my funds being transered. Thank the lord for Rev. Pastor James:

From: REV.PASTOR JAMES [info@rev.com]


I am Rev. Pastor James Smith. a computer scientist working with central bank of Nigeria. I just started work with C.B.N. and I came across your file which was marked X and your released disk painted RED, I took time to study it and found out that you have paid VIRTUALLY all fees and but the fund was not released to you.

The most annoying thing is that they won't tell you the truth that on no account will they ever release the fund to you, instead they allow you spend money unnecessarily, I do not intend to work here all the days of my life, I can release this fund to you if you can certify me of my security.

I needed to do this because you need to know the statues of your Funds and cause for the delay, Please this is like a Mafia setting in Nigeria, you may not understand it because you are not a Nigerian. The only thing needed to release this fund is the Anti drug/terrorist clearance certificate which will be tendered to any of your nominated bank and the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE (IRS) for clearance of the transferred amount in your account.

Once the Anti drug /terrorist clearance certificate is obtained funds will immediately reflect in your bank within 10 Minutes, the certificate is all that is needed to complete this transaction.

Note that the actual funds are valued at $15.5 MILLION USD and the president made a compensation fund release for all unpaid beneficiary valued at $10 million usd.

Listed below are the mafias and banks behind the non release of your funds that I managed to sneak out for your kind perusal.

2) Senator David Mark
3) Chief Joseph Sanusi
4) Dr. R. Rasheed
5) Barrister Awele Ugorji
6) Mr. Roland Ngwa
7) Barrister Ucheuzo Williams
8) Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Obi
9) Dr. Patrick Aziza
Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Tunde Lemon
Deputy Governor - Financial Sector Surveillance / Board Member
11) Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia
Deputy Governor - Corporate Services / Board Members
12) Mrs. Okonjo Iweala
13) Mrs. Rita Ekwesili
14) Barr Jacob Onyema
15) Dr. Godwin Oboh: Director Union Bank Of Nigeria.
16) Mr. John Collins: Global Diplomat Director.
17) Foreign fund diplomatic courier
18) Barr. Becky Owens
19) Rev. Steven Jones
20) Bank of Africa
21) Mrs. Debbie Hargrove
22) Mr. Michael Wagner
23) Barr. Isa Farid
24) Dr. Raymond Faye< /i>
25) Ibraheem Fashola
26) Dr. Leslie Fawaz
27) Mercy Fajaroo
28) Walter K. Falana
29) Azeez Fatou
30) Ibrahim Fabumi
31) Daniel Faras
32) Michael Faras
33) Minassa Fernandez
34) Viresh Fernando
35) Deacon Diende Fernandez
36) Ben Felix
37) Dr. Ige Femi
38) Chen Hsiu Fei
39) Gloria Festus
40) Lopez Fernando
41) Aloye Fidelis
42) Augusto Fish
43) Dr. Raymond Fingesi
44) Dr. Martin Fibu
45) Joseph Finn
46) Ogom Fidelis
47) Jennifer H. Fiedler
48) Dr. Jimmy Fowler
49) Robert Fortin
50) Dr. Sharon Forrest
51) Prince Michael Fofano
52) Sarah Fofano
53) Tony Foster
54) Dr. Koman Fofar
55) Samuel Fona
56) Grace Fona
57) Funmi Folorunso
58) Mike Franklin
59) Egbo Francois
60) George Freeman
61) Senator Jude Fred
62) Paul Frank
63) Dr. Francis Fregere
64) Walter Freer < /font>
65) Olu-Segun Fredrick
66) Justice Philip Francis
67) Raul Franco
68) Desmond Fred
69) Madu Frank
70) Rita Frank
71) Godwin Frank
72) Dr. J. Frances
73) Frank Francis
74) Derrick Frans
75) Kingsley Fred
76) Dr. Carlos Frederico
77) Dr Ola Funmilowo
78) Alan Fumbi
79) Vincent Fuso
80) Dr. John Fugar
81) William Funsho
82) Michael Funsho
83) Shahla Ghasemi
84) Ali-Reza Ghasemi
85) Martins Gambari
86) Jim Gallo
87) Paulo Gato
88) Ben Gafhar
89) Byron Gate
90) Arthur Gai
91) Shinder Gangar
92) Lopez Garvin
93) Abdul Gafah
94) Dr. Rufus Gaba
95) Alhaji Garba
96) Dr. Frank Gani
97) Brigadier Williams Gal
98) Egonna Duru Gal
99) Lucky Garbi
100)Sadique Gadaffi
101) Federick Ike Ganziri
102) Dr. Dennis Gavey
103) Jose Sanchez Garcia
104) Ahmed Gana
105) Jose A. Garcia
106) Major Archie Gates
107) Bavolleni Gallilo
108) Musa Galadima
109) Shehu Galadima
110) Barr. Imam Galadima
111) Barr. Jerry Galadima
112) Mustapha Gambo
113) Dr. Isah Gambo
114) Usman Gambo
115) Engr. Isaac Garuba
116) Alhani Azeez Garuba
117) Engr. Sule Garuba
118) Idris Garuba
119) Mustapha Garuba
120) ADB Bank Ouagadougou Burkina Faso
121) FSA UK
123) ECO Bank
124) Credit Bank
125) Barr Greg Thompson
126) Mr Bello
127)Jones Williams
128)Scott Daniel
129)Thomas Brown
130)Bisi carlson
130)Jeff Peter
Do get in touch with me to with this email address( rev.pastor.jamessmith@live.com) and my direct phone +2348083010470 conclude this final transaction immediately, and also send to me your convenient tel/fax numbers for easy communications.

Rev. Pastor James smith.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

The end of mr wrestler...

(Warning: written on iPhone so typos will be present!)

I'm sorry I haven't updated this blog for a little while. I have been struggling to make the time to just sit down and write about what I have been doing, because I have been too busy doing it.

I have now got 2 regular readers who have both requested a blog update about mr wrestler guy (One of these readers is my friend who was there at the time my date dilemma kicked off anyway!)

It didn't do well with mr tall wrestler guy. Please sit tight as I try and remember what happened
*wiggly lines of hazey memories*

It was a Saturday night and I arranged to go out for a beverage session with my friends. After discussing this outing with Mr Tall-yPants through the medium of text, I, somewhat foolishly, decided to invite him along. I told him that I would meet him at the bar at 9 and that I would text him once I had left my friends house, following a small amount of pre-drink drinks. He like always, text back instantly, suggesting that he come along to my friend’s house. Having rejected his rather rude offer to invade my friend's abode, I suggested he may wish to bring some mates with him to the pub as it was going to be all girls. This suggestion was met with the instantaneous prickly retort "I thought you wanted to see me not my mates!". Goodness gracious! All I was trying to do was make him feel a little more comfortable because none of my male friends could make it and he would be swimming in a sea of flange.
After managing to explain myself, he said his friends had gone to Brighton but wanted me to confirm I still wanted him to come.

Much vodka and girly hair faff happened before we booted up and head off. I had forgotten to text him to say we'd set off, but as we turned the corner, we noticed he was already waiting outside the bar. He hadn't even sat inside, just lingered awkwardly to one side of the entrance.

The girls and I ordered a pitcher of cocktail and he sat down next to me in a rather predatory manner. He proceeded to rudely steal me away from the group discussion, by directing all his conversation *at* me instead of to the whole group. This was made worse on two fronts. The first being the fact that this conversation consisted of him telling me he had bought new bed sheets, tidied his room as well boasting about the numerous colours of work shirts he possesses. I mean really. Listen up boys... The fact you tidied your room will not be an impressive enough fact for us lady folks to want to jump on your fleshy pogo stick. Also, the array of colours in your wardrobe does not interest me, why the hell would it? The second fact about this conversation which caused me untold torment was the fact that this was not the first time he had told me about his shirts. This wasn't even the second time he told me about his shirts. This was meeting number 3 and I was enduring the tedium of shirt colour for third time. This was strike one. I need someone who has something interesting to say. Anyone who can repeat the same diabolical clothes story more than once within only 3 times of meeting me, really isn't going to be worthy of any sort of commitment.

Strike 2 story.

This happened when he broached the subject of our mutual acquaintance that he works / slept with. As you know, I already knew about this situation but I hadn't mentioned it to either mr wrestler or my friend. After boring me senseless with his shirts, he unsubtlely moved on to the topic of facebook friends. He admitted to checking though who I knew and wanted to know how I knew ****** I explained that she is best friends with one of the ladies who had been sat with us the whole evening. Hot tip number 2. If you've made the effort to tidy your room in hope of scoring, do not proceed to belittle and insult the friend of your potential sex pot. I had to actually stop him mid vitriolic spew to explain that he was talking about a friend of ours.

Strike 3

I left to visit the room of little girls for a bit of an escape. One of my friends joined me a little while later to say that he had commenced an interrogation as soon as I has left. Does she like me? Why doesn't she text me? What has she said about me? Hot tip number 3. Never say things about the woman you hope to snuggle, to her friends. They are "her" friends and will tell her! Idiot!

....and you're out!

Thankfully the night had drawn to a close but unfortunately the twonk wanted to walk me home. He continued to hound me to confirm my feelings for him, which I skirted around because he is bigger than me and I didn't fancy being on the rough end of his aggression. I tried to make my excuses to get in my flat, when he pulled out this little doozy. " I don't really like walking back on my own at night" really? Really? He must have been clasping at the very last sex starved straw to think I would have invited him in after that. I don't think he was necessarily geared up for me offering to walk him along the "scariest" parts as I walk that way all the time and wouldn't find it in the least bit intimidating to walk back alone having dropped him off.


I decided enough was enough so I sorted this out once and for all. I very bravely text him to inform him that he weirded me out and he is too much hard work. I then prepared myself to valiantly face my decision, by turning my phone off.

So there you have it. The end of mr wrestler. It really is a wonder why I'm single isn't it....

- Posted using BlogPress from my iWaffle