Waffle cake creator and lover of all things purple

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West Sussex, United Kingdom

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Party like it's 1992.

How did parties even happen in 1992 without facebook invites and twitter hashtags? Anyway, I digress (already. This doesn't bode well)

For those of you not in the know, I decided, as of Tuesday 20th March, to give up on social networking until Easter.

Nearly a week in, and all I want to know is where I can get my methadone equivalent of instant validation? I miss having an open forum for ideas through chatting to old friends and insulting new ones. I miss the passive and dilute accreditation a "like" or "share" imparts. I even miss those ridiculously mundane "greeting card quotes" and that old chap out of original trek space frontier whatsit.

I have enforced a detachment from the succulent bosom of digital social interaction in an attempt to push myself into doing wondrous things with all that time I'll save.


Sadly, the quality communication I was striving to rekindle as part of this initiative, has encountered a *couple* of hiccups. In the supermarket last week, I was interrupted mid cake quandary by "is this the naughty isle then?" from a gent who was, as it was later pointed out by my more astute friendshapes, probably wanting my assistance with an entirely different kind of "what's for desert?" Dilemma. Awkward.

Even the simple act of paying at the checkout was a bit of a farce. You know that glazed look of boredom and impatience you reserve for overly talkative shop assistants and the X-factor? Well I ended up on the painful end of that look after a conversation a kin to:
"Ooooh I'm really looking forward to this bottle of wine. It's a bit more expensive than the ones I'd usually go for, but I saw it there, with all it's awards and shiny labels and thought what the hey. I struggled picking a desert too. [This content has been removed to prevent catatonic boredom].... which is why I bought them both. Oh!.... Erm.....I'm sorry for going on, it's been a really quiet day at the office."
Yep. I apologised to sales assistant for rogering my brain tedium right up her. New low, right there. Well, it was, until I accidentally elbowed a pregnant woman right in the foetus at the weekend. But that's another story.

By Thursday, I was sleep by 10 as the airless vacuum of time that faced me was a bit too much to digest in one oppressive turdlump of empty.

Thankfully, Friday arrived and I finally remembered I have wine, er... friends! Proper 3D ones with houses, and movies and corkscrews and everything. I would like to say that I recalled the rest of the evening but I ended up filling my wine bottle with air in less than 2 hours and then "celebrated" by sending text based head dribble via blogger and SMS at god-earsnoseandthoat o'clock on Saturday morning. Oooops

Looks like the "wondrous things" I'd planned to achieve sans Facebook is going on hold for now.